“Those who think he had lucky breaks are not only unaware of the real story but also fall prey to that sin of the mediocre: bitchiness about others’ success” ― Marlon James
“Most haters are stuck in a poisonous mental prison of jealousy and self-doubt that blinds them to their own potentiality.” ― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience
“Watching someone else totally go for it can be incredibly upsetting to the person who’s spent a lifetime building a solid case for why they themselves can’t.” – Jen Sincero, You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life
So, Mercury is apparently retrograde as of today and it has already started off to be an opportunity to hone my inner state of groundedness and joy. Its been challenging for sure but the day is beginning to even out, and as it does I am really led to contemplating this love we humans have for focusing on all that isn’t working for us or where we haven’t gotten what we want. I’ve also been thinking about how I react when I see someone else who I think has what I want. What do we say or think about others when we see them experiencing in life those things we’d love to experience? I can admit that a little bit of the hater syndrome comes out in me sometimes when I see other people with the great relationship or the luxurious lifestyle or possessed of that certain charm that attracts people to them like moths to a flame. I’m just being real and saying what I’m sure many of us think but don’t say. I get conscious of it quickly and realize the need to shift it to a more productive and less detrimental to myself thought. But let’s talk about this tendency many of us have. We don’t want to be happy for others who are experiencing good things or achieving big things. Why?
I say we can’t let others live because we are actually making their happiness mean something about us and we see it as a magnifying glass showing us all we haven’t accomplished. It goes something like “why do they get to experience all that goodness and I don’t?” Or it points right at our frustration with what we perceive as the lack in our own lives. As if somehow when someone else experiences good it is our proof and confirmation for that all too pervasive thought that we are not good enough. See? There it is. If I were good enough I would be living in that great house or would have that successful business or I would have that great relationship like they do. Clearly I just haven’t measured up. Inherent in all this hating is the idea that there is a lack of good to go around. I can’t have a successful business if someone is already successful in the same kind of business. This then leads to our need to cut another down or compete in order to somehow gain our own foothold on that good. What kind of insanity is all that?
Let’s be clear. It is insanity. This is not the kind of thinking or action that will line us up with our own good. Granted our good may not look like someone else’s good but it will be just as amazing and fulfilling. We get aligned with our own good when we celebrate the good that others are enjoying. We understand that it is a pointer showing us what is possible. We let others live big and express themselves fully and grandly knowing that it gives us permission to do the same. We come to have the correct perception that we could only notice a quality in another that is also within us. The only difference is that we haven’t realized the full expression of it, or rather, we haven’t come into alignment with our own greatness. By virtue of the fact that we are able to notice it in another and are drawn to it, means they are reflecting back to us a quality we hold within ourselves.
So, be grateful you are able to see an example of what is possible. Ask the right questions such as, “what does that person believe about themselves, and how can I cultivate a mindset like that?; Or What do you think that person tells themselves everyday?; What practices do they employ daily to get into alignment with their good?” Use it as a compass to point you internally where you need to be in order to experience your own good. I know sometimes I find myself feeling discouraged that I’m not yet aligned with some experiences I want to be having in this life. It’s then that I get into this practice to see where I can line up more fully, bringing my vibrational set point to one which matches the experience I’m seeking to have.
Remember also that when you are living your own greatness, it doesn’t occur to you to compete or tear anyone else down who is experiencing theirs. If you are truly in alignment with living your good and being on purpose in this life, then you know there is room for everyone and each person has their unique gifts to give. There is enough of everything to go around and you don’t feel threatened thinking that what someone else might have will take away from your ability to have the same.
So let others live, celebrate their successes and joys, and you will live…big. Live your own big life and you will naturally let others live theirs. You will probably be cheering them on to live even bigger lives when you are in ownership of your own greatness.