• khatijadadabhoy

An Act Of Self-Love

My guess is that there is at least one person out there reading this who feels stuck, hopeless, depressed, and tired. If you’re that person, don’t worry, you’re in good company. Most of us have been there at some point in our lives. If you’re there, then I have some questions for you…how do you show up for yourself or do you show up at all? Do you abandon yourself any chance you get for a little approval or so called love from someone else? I confess that at the worst points in my life, I had very little commitment to myself. Instead I had a commitment to endlessly and hopelessly try to please someone else or be what I thought someone else wanted me to be. Then I couldn’t figure out why I was always miserable, depressed, and sure that no one was showing up for me in my life. I didn’t know or understand that commitment to myself was an act of self-love, and that as soon I started showing up for myself then Life would start showing up for me. I couldn’t understand back then that the circumstances in my life were reflecting back to me my refusal to show up and be unwaveringly on my own side. Sure, there are a lot of other factors that play into the circumstances/challenges you might be faced with, but I would venture to say that commitment to yourself will get the ball rolling to create change.


So, ask yourself how committed you are to yourself, to your life, to your vision, to your process of growth and true transformation? We often expect a lot of results with very little commitment. I know I did. I thought things would shift with the dabbling I was doing in self-growth and spirituality. It was a hobby then, and now it’s a full time job (one I love, by the way).  I feel strongly that when you make an unwavering commitment to yourself and your own transformation you’ll see results more amazing than you could have imagined. Transforming your inner world and your outer life experience is going to require a level of commitment beyond what you may be comfortable with. I mean, we’re a society frightened of commitment on so many levels. I’m not speaking, though, about committing to a spiritual practice or an exercise program or even a plan for Saturday night. Those are external commitments that will be so much easier to keep once you’ve made that foundational commitment to yourself and invested in your own process of growth. If there’s a vision you have for your life and it’s not materializing, it might be a good idea to see what priority it really has in your life and how committed you really are to you. We love a good excuse, and I’m just as guilty of that as anyone else. Actually, I dwelled there for way too long and was more than fed up with the state of my life.

Things noticeably changed for me when I created a stronger commitment to myself. Then, with that much investment in myself, I was able to commit to doing what it took to change particular areas of my life which had become a priority. For me, it probably happened because I couldn’t stand to live the way I was anymore. Maybe that’s what you need to experience before you’re willing to make a stronger commitment. You won’t do anything to change the state of your life if you don’t feel invested in yourself to such a degree that you’ll do whatever it takes to create the change you dream about. Commitment is that “no matter what” intention that drives us humans to accomplish out of this world fetes. I promise you things happen a lot quicker with that level of commitment and investment. Create that unstoppable feeling within yourself. Promise yourself that the ideal vision you hold for your life is something that has to happen and will happen, and watch how everything you need rises up to meet you in that space to actually make it happen. When you are this committed, you will accept and do whatever needs to be done. You’ll get the guidance you need for inspired action and you’ll follow through. Even when you falter, you’ll have your moment and you’ll get right back to it. You’ll stop making excuses. Excuses are for victims and no one is a victim who has the capacity to make a decision and to take action.

I know for certain that my life would not have changed and continue to be changing in the way that it is without my firm commitment to myself. Even commitment is an act of surrender because excuses are resistance that keep us from moving forward. One I used for a long time that I’m still challenged by is that I don’t have time to devote to certain practices that aid in my personal growth because I’m so busy what with being a single mom of two kids and work and blah blah blah. Actually being a single mom has been a great story for me to use to keep from getting anywhere different in life. When I took on this deeper process of transformation and inner revolution, it butted me up against all of this resistance and my stories of victimhood. I say this because with commitment to myself and the transformation I sought, my level of responsibility increased and that’s what I was avoiding. In fact, I now had to realize that I was 100% responsible for my life and couldn’t blame anyone else for the state of it any longer. Responsibility is inherent when there is choice, and we all have choice, so we are all ultimately responsible for everything in our lives. People don’t like to hear that because if we’re responsible then we’re the ones who need to change, not the other person and not any external circumstance. The beauty of this concept of responsibility, though, is that since we are responsible then we are in the power position. We then realize that if there’s something we aren’t happy with in our lives, we have the power to change ourselves which always creates change in our life circumstances. I say this all to say that with a stronger commitment there is more responsibility, but that is where your power lies.

For now, I invite you to spend some time reflecting on your level of commitment to yourself and to your vision. Have you fully committed to yourself and to the vision of your life that you hold? Are you taking action that reflects that commitment? Or are you more committed to a story that is holding you back in your life in general or in a particular area of your life? Whatever you’re most committed to is what you’ll see show up in and as your life.  In the next couple of posts, I’ll explore the concept a little further to gain some more concrete understanding and with the hope that it will inspire you to dig a little deeper and commit a little stronger to yourself.  What do you think? Are you ready to commit as an act of self-love?

© 2020 by Khatija Dadabhoy