We are born whole
What exactly is the process of transformation that happens within when we consciously choose to undertake a revolution of our inner world? Really, it’s the process of integration, or rather reintegration, in order to create wholeness. We were all born whole or integrated. We then dis-integrate or cut off parts of ourselves in order to survive. If we become conscious enough, we go through the process of re-integration to our fundamental whole nature.
We dis-integrate to survive
We become an entity divided against itself in many ways as a result of our life experiences and the meaning we’ve attributed to them. We develop habits and patterns of coping that usually serve more to separate and dis-integrate our wholeness. We may deny and repress aspects of ourselves we’ve deemed unacceptable or inappropriate because we received negative messages about them from our primary caretakers. Maybe we’re afraid of others’ opinions or judgments about those aspects of ourselves so we go underground with them and play them out in secret or do our best to ignore or deny them. We may have done all of this because we felt it was essential to our physical and emotional survival at the time.
What we resist persists
The danger in doing this, though, is that anything we deny, repress, cut off, ignore or in any way resist about ourselves will show up even fiercer and crazier in its need for expression. Those aspects may begin to run our lives as we get older because we won’t allow them expression. They create chaos, sabotage and wreak havoc on our state of mind and our experiences.
I recently found myself in this predicament and feeling like I was in a special kind of hell within my mind. All these parts of myself I was not allowing expression were duking it out in my mental and emotional arena. In relation to a circumstance I’ve been working through, these aspects of myself I’d been in denial about were finding their way forward to be seen. I was consumed by all the different voices taking turns inside my head to make themselves heard. Because I was fighting them and resisting them, they were getting louder and louder until I felt I had no clarity and could not even think about the situation in any kind of sane way.
Re-integrating ourselves to wholeness
My wonderful friend, Teri Jo, suggested an exercise to give them each a voice one by one and to allow my higher self to do the listening and responding to them. I let each part of myself express their version of what was happening, what was true for them and what they wanted. What I heard coming out of my own mouth was somewhat surprising to me but provided much-needed clarity in understanding the situation. Each part was given permission by my higher self to have its needs met. All those parts not only relaxed their hold on me mentally and emotionally because they were given space, but they were allowed to be integrated into the functioning of the whole. They became more unified instead of fighting each other.
As soon as I allowed each aspect to flow and to just be, I experienced the ease with which the organizing principle that manages the entire Universe can organize the microcosm of the Universe within me. I don’t need to do anything except let go of the resistance and the pushing against all the differing parts of me. Then that organizing principle, that higher vibratory consciousness of which I am a part, can do what it naturally does which is restore me to wholeness. Each time I allow this to happen I reclaim and reintegrate more splintered pieces of my being and my psyche. I am closer to being returned to my original balanced and harmonious state.
Peeling away the layers
In this process of transformation we’re electing to give ourselves over to, we are never trying to become anything except who and what we originally were. It is less of an adding on and more of a peeling away and a restoration of what has always been perfect within us.