“Your life changes the moment you make a new, congruent, and committed decision.” – Tony Robbins
That’s one way to say no emphatically. To say no to something even if one’s life or the life of another depended on it happening. What do you need to say no to this emphatically? Well, if you want to live the life that’s aching to be birthed from you then you’ll probably need to learn to say “not on your life!” to certain things. Saying no with such certainty requires that you know on a deep level who you truly are as a very valuable and worthy being. There are situations and people that will provide you much practice with this as well, and if you are not certain of who you truly are then you will fail to say “not on your life!” when it is most needed. This inability will then separate you further from the knowing of your value and worth.
I can look back on my life and it is littered with experiences in which I most definitely needed to say “not on your life!”, only I didn’t say it and it slowly chipped away at my wholeness and sense of self-worth. I clearly did not value myself enough to express to people that certain behaviors or treatment were unacceptable to me. I allowed the mistreatment because I couldn’t unequivocally say no to that which was hurtful, unkind, and disrespectful. There were many reasons why being disregarded was familiar territory for me, but it did not make it any less damaging. When I began to take on the attitude and feeling that nothing and no one was worth me denigrating and dishonoring myself in that way, I was able to rebuild my sense of self-worth. Each time I, in essence, said “not on your life!” to someone’s unacceptable behavior, I reclaimed little pieces of myself I had dismembered and given away. I began to make myself whole again.
Sometimes it isn’t just the behaviors or mistreatment of others that we need to unequivocally say no to. Sometimes it’s those old beliefs that keep limiting us, that keep us in the illusion of victimhood, and which strip us of our power. I have one that pops up often as “things never work out for me” or “I won’t really get what I want.” When they pop up in reaction to some life circumstance and our ego w
Then there are the patterns of our own behavior that are born out of those limiting beliefs. When we catch ourselves playing out one of those destructive patterns that usually hovers somewhere around self-sabotage, we can say not on your life am I doing that again! As we make that more congruent decision – boom!- things begin to shift for us. We can feel it internally as that center of our power solidifies, followed by an interruption and change of behavior leading to a different outcome and an elevated energy in our being.
That “not on your life!” that we begin to employ in all of these instances is filled with certainty. It is the certainty of God in everything that we know. It is the certainty that everything is working for us and not against us even if we can’t see it in that moment and that voice of our lower self wants to tell us that all hope is lost. To embody the spirit of an unequivocal no to that which limits us and that which wants to drag us down to where we feel we can’t get up again – that spirit is what will make the difference. Then saying “not on your life!” becomes a way of saying it isn’t worth giving my life or my power away. This attitude and mindset is one that signifies a new decision which is more in integrity with the truth of our being and with the knowledge of our connection to the greater wisdom of the Universe/God.
Today, ask where in your life you would be better served by saying “not on your life!” Try it out, see how you feel, and see how you and your circumstances shift as you stand in your power.