It has been quite some time since I’ve been able to post any writing here. The good news about that is life has been so full in the last few months turning my focus toward adjusting to the rapid changes and growth. Getting back to this writing, though, is something I’ve really been aching to do. What’s beautiful is that even this has been an opportunity in the practice of letting things be as they are, surrendering, and giving up control.
This seems to be the theme of my life currently. That I am being called to more fully lean into the allowance of things rather than the sense of false control and the anxiety married to it. I was told recently by someone that there is a sweet spot to get into where it’s not really necessary to make decisions or labor over decision making. Laboring over a decision or working to get life to go a certain way according to your dictates is a sure fire way to pull yourself immediately out of the experience of the life that is happening right in front of you, which is asking for your attention and for your surrender to its natural unfolding.
In my life I have tended to spend a great deal of time wanting to know the outcome of things. My asking or seeking for guidance from God has usually been focused on knowing how things will turn out or end up. Usually because I want to know if it will work out in my favor or I’ll be making some grave and cosmic mistake by doing what I’m doing. It’s an obsession with the future to the detriment of the living of my life. Instead of seeking guidance within for what would be right action in the present moment regardless of outcome, it has been a seeking of answers to predict the future.
That obsession with wanting to know what will happen or how things will turn out ahead of time is an inability to live in the unknown which, by the way, is crucial to experiencing what joy there is in this moment. I have let many moments pass me by which would have contributed greatly to my engagement with life and its offering of joy and happiness because I was preoccupied with what was to be in the future.
In my need to control, I interfered and interrupted the natural unfolding of the circumstances in my life. Living in the wonder is actually where magical things can happen in our experience. I’m pretty sure of how adept I am at veering off the path of my good and pretty much screwing things up that I’ve really wanted. So, I’m grateful that inherent in the natural order of the Universe is a self-balancing and self-correcting and a perfection informing me that even when I get it “wrong” it is still right. Surrendering and leaning into the natural unfolding of my life allows me to relax and allows the Universe to organize itself into whatever experience I most need in that moment.
So, I am currently practicing the art of leaving things alone and living in the wonder. Doing what I’m guided to do moment to moment with an open and surrendered heart, knowing it will all unfold beautifully for my highest good.