I struggled to write this week because it has been a particularly challenging week for me. A week where I have really questioned why certain experiences have shown up and what I’m going to do with them. Seems like my life is always calling me to dig a little deeper and get even more engaged. I found myself trying to run to solutions and get away from the “problems.” What this has done is created more of the energy of the problem within me because my search for a solution keeps pointing out the problem. So, I’m going back to some things I have learned. One of which is that you can’t solve a problem at the level of the problem, meaning that if I continue to be focused on the problem then I stay at the energy level of the problem. If I want to be at the level of the solution, it’s important to raise my energetic vibration to a higher level. The assumption being, of course, that the solution vibrates at a higher level than the problem and that the answer is within me to access. The other teaching I am remembering right now is that it’s not always good to immediately try to get rid of the so called problem because it is the perfect problem for me to learn exactly what I need to learn. Instead of going right to trying to eradicate it, it’s a good idea to see what it holds for me. If I presuppose that everything happens for a reason then I know this is all showing up with purpose and it’s my job to figure out what that purpose is.
It’s been one of those times this past week where a bunch of things seemed to come at me at once. Those are the moments when I question how I can handle it all and I start getting into the why of it all happening. Do I know better? Of course I do, but I went there for a minute and had a little pity party. The last few days, though, I’ve begun working it from a different angle and as I sit here writing this, it’s an opportunity to work it out for myself.
Remember I said that you can’t solve a problem at the level of the problem so as much as my ego loves the drama and wants to tell other people about it, it was keeping me in the energetic vibration of the problem. I know right away that the best and easiest way for me to bring my vibration up is to meditate but did I do it? No, not really because I have a good number of balls in the air right now trying to juggle all of them with what feels like one hand. But I did stop in the middle of the worst of it, at the guidance of my friend, to do a short meditation with the aim of receiving some understanding and help. Doing even that was extremely helpful because my higher wisdom was able to come through with some answers for me. There are so many ways to raise your energetic vibration that will lift you to a place where answers can be heard. Music is a great way or physical movement or listing what you love or what you’re grateful for. Anything really that resonates with a more loving or joyful energy will work. My personal favorite is meditation because I love the way I feel when I’m in that space. I feel really connected and I can literally feel my energy become more expansive and positively charged. Plus it relaxes all the overwhelm and emotional overload. Another way I love to accomplish the same goal is to be with others who vibrate at a higher level or in a place where the vibration is higher. That could be near a body of water or maybe getting out into nature.
The other piece that is now starting to get clearer for me is remembering that these “problems” are really gifts in disguise. If I begin investigating in wonder about what they are trying to teach me or bring up in me that needs healing, then I begin to get insights and aha moments where I can connect the dots and understand what needs to be looked at and developed in me. This time I’m beginning to understand that there has still been a part of me that hasn’t honored myself completely, that still doesn’t set a boundary and respect myself when someone tries to cross it who has crossed it one too many times. It’s really an opportunity to work out the last bits of the people pleasing disease that I had for so long. As another friend pointed out, it’s also an opportunity to really anchor in the learning that validation comes from within and not from anything external or anyone. I see clearly now that it really was given as a helping hand for me to become the woman I have been imagining myself to be.
It would have been so easy to look at everything from the old perspective I had where I was being victimized or that bad things always happen to me. But just changing my perspective and employing a little wonder as to why it was all showing up has opened up so much more for me. It’s not necessarily easy work, this growth stuff, but it is so rich and powerful in really creating the kind of transformation I have been praying for. I ask for it because I really want to change on a deep down level and then I get the perfect situation to create that change within me. If I don’t stay awake, though, and I don’t work what I know then the opportunity will only show up again even more painfully until I do the work to really get the lesson and let it take hold in the deepest part of me.
So, the moral of the story is don’t let your golden opportunities, disguised as problems, go untapped for the riches they hold. Once you have the awareness and the tools, it just requires a little of your sweat and maybe some tears. But it is oh so worth it for what you glean from the process. Here’s to all of our golden opportunities! May we have vision enough to see them for what they truly are.