• khatijadadabhoy

A Different Perspective On Not Getting What You Want

When we don’t get what we want in the way we want or in the timeframe that we want, a lot of stuff will rise to the surface to be healed. We will start doubting our deservedness and our worthiness. All our insecurities about ourselves will come bubbling up. Well, at least that’s what happens for me. Then the guilt and judgment start working their way in as well. I start struggling with how to make peace with not getting what I desire, especially when it’s something that I ache for and I feel I’ve done all the work toward and still it isn’t happening. How do I make peace with that?


Those negative thoughts and emotions that show up are doing so in order to be healed. That’s all it is ever about. See, we think it’s about getting what we want and showing that the laws of the Universe work for us and we know how to use them. But really it is just always about clearing, healing and revealing more of the Light that we are. Believe me, I get caught up in it too. Thinking that this life is about making things happen and getting what I want. I believe that’s actually a byproduct and not the purpose of transformation or spiritual growth. It will happen and even better than I thought it would, and my part in it is to pay attention to what comes up and learn to heal and release all of it. We know by now that we are creators of our own reality and this is all part of the process.

It doesn’t serve me to hold emotions and thoughts that belittle my existence. I am not meant to hold them so they rise to the surface calling out to be released in order that I can be clear enough to have Life flow through me and receptive enough for the good trying to make its way to me. I am deep in the midst of one of these situations in which I really long for something from a deep place within me and it is not happening so far. Actually, I have a couple of those going on right now.

Of course while I’m moving through these experiences, I happen to be reading exactly the right book to apply to my circumstance. I love how life works like that. I’m reading The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer, and if you haven’t heard of it or read it yet, do yourself a favor and go out and get it. I cannot encapsulate here the entirety of what he teaches in this book, and I actually haven’t finished it yet, but I have been able to begin applying the concepts to my current experience. The main point is that it is only ever about our inner work, and we’re mistaken when we think it’s about anything else, especially anything in the outer world.  That work begins with the decision that we don’t want to suffer anymore. If we can sit in the seat of ourselves as consciousness and watch as old and negative energies get triggered by our outer experience, we can keep from getting caught up in them (suffering) and allow them to release. We just watch them, notice what comes up and consciously allow it to pass through us. As we make a practice of this with all things big and small, we are slowly clearing our inner world and then our true nature of love, light, and joy expresses naturally. We are also clear enough so that the good that is trying to be given to us has an open place of receptivity to flow to us. We are not blocking it anymore.

More than all of that, the result of this path is inner freedom. When we consciously move through our life experiences and understand how to unburden ourselves little by little of what has been a weight on our hearts, we free ourselves. Then we actually don’t mind however things work out in our life. The things we worry about don’t bother us so much anymore because we know how to let inner disturbance happen and just move through us. We know we are not whatever we are feeling or the pain we are going through. We get to be happy whether something works out how we wanted or it doesn’t. The paradox of it all is that when we get to this place we are more likely to experience everything we want flowing right into our life experience.

I really can’t do justice to how great this book is and what is expounded on within it, so please read it. It does give me a vision and a way and a practice. While I am nowhere near mastering any of this, I am clear about my desire for inner freedom and my intention to always do my best to walk the path that will get me there. So, when I’m feeling frustrated, impatient and discouraged that what I desire has not materialized just yet I will allow everything it brings up to move right through my being and release itself. Every insecurity, every doubt, every thought I hold against myself that blocks my Light from revealing itself will be watched by me while I sit firmly in the place of knowing that none of it is actually me. This is how I make peace with what is in this moment, or at least I will give it my best shot!

© 2020 by Khatija Dadabhoy